Less Is Fabulous.

To buy a Wonder Woman swimsuit or not to buy a Wonder Woman swimsuit, that is the question.

I stumbled upon this rare find while browsing swimoutlet.com for a sporty Nike tankini. (Fellas, that’s a bikini minus the itsy bitsy). After nothing met my criteria…practical, classy, simple, preferably black, sans doo-dads and swimmable…I ventured into one-piece options. Poor one pieces. They’re so underrated. Personally, I’m a fan. Two pieces have their place in the universe of swimwear, but they’re predictable. Expected. That settled it. I would remain the one-piece poster girl.

And then it appeared. The Splish brand “Awesome Girl” swimsuit, complete with a lightening bolt. Images of Lynda Carter popped into my head. I had flashbacks of the Wonder Woman Underoos I adored as a 5-year old—crying when they were in the washer. I found my suit! I smiled. Wider than I should have at a computer screen.

No no no no no no no no no. This is not a suit Tara Maras would buy. This meets none of the criteria on this nicely organized list of criteria sitting next to my computer. None. This is ridiculous. Absurd. Bright. Lightening bolty. Loud. Unprofessional. Impractical. Wonder Womanish.

But I love it.

No no no no no no no no no. I don’t live in Venice Beach. I don’t perform in “O.”I don’t know how I feel about stars on my butt. I don’t have the accessories (indestructible bracelet, red boots). I’m not proficient in hand-to-hand combat and the art of tactical warfare. I don’t even have a swimming pool. Is this my mid-life crisis?

But I still love it.

So I made a deal with myself. If after 24 hours I still had the burning need to own this suit of wonder, I would buy it. Then it would be a well-thought-out, non-impulsive, practical purchase. Right? Right.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. The 24-hour mark arrived. I pointed, clicked and submitted my order.

But it will never fit. No way. Not a chance of ordering a swimsuit online and having it fit. No problem. I’ll just return it and the fun will be over. Whew, glad I have an out.

Of course, you can guess how the story ends. It arrived. It fit perfectly. I’m wearing it as I type. (Not really…). I’ve decided this is swimoutlet.com’s way of telling me that it’s okay to have a little fun…be a little impractical…that less doesn’t always have to be fabulous. Okay swimoutlet.com. Just this once.

Now, about that pool…